Dear Eli

Dear Eli,

I was somewhat amused to learn last week on Sportscenter that you have been diagnosed with plantar fasciitis. How the hell did you manage to get an injury that normally plagues 30 something year old runners? That makes about as much sense as Usain Bolt getting a concussion or Michael Phelps suffering from turf toe. I'm not familiar with the training regimen of NFL players but I find it hard to believe that you've been running 1000 repeats in Van Cortland Park on your day off.

I got some really bad news for you Eli. .. YOU'RE SCREWED. I don't care how much time you spend rolling that F*$king golf ball under your foot, this is one injury that is NEVER going to go away! Get used to popping 20 Advil a day and sleeping in a night split for the next 4 years. I'd also suggest getting your personal assistant (or 3rd string QB) to purchase a 500 pack of paper cups from Costco which you'll be using for ice massages. I'm not even going to bother talking about orthotics to "correct your biomechanics".

On a positive note, you will definitely have periods of no pain in which you'll be convinced that the PF has finally healed. This usually occurs around the time when you're either close to giving up and retiring or you've started to get used to the pain. Enjoy this period, the PF will ALWAYS return.

If you want to talk to someone who has been through this shit, stop by the Running Company in Manhattan and ask to speak to Ben Cooke. Beware that he might suggest that you play football wearing a pair of Nike running shoes "designed by NASA scientists."

Keep in touch,

Jason